Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Wacky News Stories

As Spring approaches, I have but one word ... Winning!

1. On a lunch lady being arrested for having sex with a 12-year-old boy:
"Why is it that when I think of lunch ladies, I can only think of the Chris Farley lunch lady character? Man, this 12-year-old's standards must've been really low ... or the sloppy joe was really that good ..."

2. On 2 western Pa. men being arrested for poaching 2 deer for fresh meat at Super Bowl party:
"I guess deer goes well with Iron City beer?"

3. On a dozen British swimmers, divers, water polo players and one member of the synchronised swimming squad getting together for a naked photo shoot:
"Yes, please!"

4. On Shigeo Tokuda, a 76-year-old Japanese porn star - a big star in Japan's emerging adult-movie genre known as 'elder-porn:'
"I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.",0,3073333.story

5. On a Staten Island teen with mayonnaise jar full of marijuana finding he cannot outrun a horse:
"That's a heckuva way to learn that lesson ..."


Ink and Stone said...

Mayo jar full of marijauna? Maybe the horse just wanted some marijanaisse for its oats?

Jeff said...

1. Michael Jackson believes in reincarnation.

2. Real men grill meat, not poach it.

3. Reminds me of an old song: "I love to go swimmin' with bowlegged women ..."

4. Hollywood already has the SAG Awards.

5. He can't outrun the Jamaicans either.