Tuesday, October 24, 2006

New Vocabulary

Ink sent me a great e-mail this morning. You know how I love making and using new words - well, here are a bunch you can use in the workplace:

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.

16. GENERICA: Features of the Amer ican landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).

18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

11 comments:

Christina_the_wench said...

Crop Dusting...roflmao....

Los said...

I know - I usually post on Wednesdays, but this one couldn't wait.

iamunstoppable said...

hilarious.

ToddPacker said...

Good stuff Los. I plan on using seagull manager and assmosis in a lunch meeting today.

Oh and the latest podcast was great...I hope there are still some more Lucy stories

Rev. Smokin Steve said...

I have a seagull manager for sure. Thank goodness he's never around.

Los said...

IAM - I knew you'd like these.

Toddpacker - thanks for stoppin'. I have PLENTY of Lucy and Inga stories for that matter.

Smokin' - I think I hav a whole flock of seagull managers.

El Padrino said...

these were great

im using seagull manager today
i heard of cube farm....

iamunstoppable said...

i guess this would be a seagull manager thing to do. a comment made last week during a group meeting discussion..

"i dont care about opinions".

great!

Los said...

ELP - I've hear of crop-dustin' before - been guilty of doing it quite a bit.

IAM - Guilty!

iamunstoppable said...

oh everyones crop dusted. i dont care who you are..

Fairmaiden327 said...

OMG this is hysterical. I'm printing this out.