Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Stoppage Time

Funny Joke I Thought I’d Pass Along:
A college friend of mine e-mailed me this beauty, and I’m still laughing, so I did what any blog-buddy in their right mind would do – I decided to share it with you:
During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good
manners, asked her students the following question: "Michael, if
you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would
you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" Michael said,
"Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Peter, how would you say it?"
Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the
bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word
bathroom at the dinner table.
And you, little Johnny, can you show us your good manners?"
"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a
moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of
mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."

The teacher fainted.

Yellowstone Park Blowout????
I saw a show on the History Channel regarding Yellowstone Park and how it is actually the largest volcano in North America, and when it eventually blows again, it will create worldwide chaos. Do you think the park rangers at Yellowstone enjoyed this one? How about the marketing people at Yellowstone? I ask this because after viewing this, there is no way I am EVER going to Yellowstone. Just thought I’d share.

El Nino Alert
I heard on the news this morning that we should be having a mild winter and save lots of money on heating expenses thanks to El Nino. My first thought was, is this the Hispanic Santa Claus? Or maybe this is what you get after you eat bad Mexican food. Then, of course, I remembered that we had El Nino a bunch of years ago, when we had droughts and really hot weather (at least that’s what we had on the East coast). Helluva way to spin this into a good story. As an aside, this story reminded me of when Chris Farley played “El Nino” on Saturday Night Live, and the classic line – “El Nino, which is Spanish for … the Nino.”


Fairmaiden327 said...

You are retarded. Ha ha. I can't get meat curtain outta my head for some reason. Damn you.

Los said...

I need more terms for that area ... all I have is Meat Curtain and Roast Beef ... and promised land, but that's boring.

Wrinkled Star for the "heine" is good, though.

Fairmaiden327 said...

No Los, that is NOT good. If it has cellulite, it's a golf ball. If it's smooth n'firm then it's heaven. That is all.

El Padrino said...

good one

pink taco is my gem

Los said...

Yeah - I use that one occasionally, as well as sausage wallet.

Christina_the_wench said...

Pervs. The lot of you.

RIP Chris. Damn, you rocked.

Jeff said...

"Little Johnny" jokes are always priceless.

Does Bill Parcells call his ship the "Tuna Boat"?

Rev. Smokin Steve said...

Little Johnny sees his mother naked in the shower. He points to her crotch and said "Mommy, what's that?"

Mommy says, "Oh, that's where God split me with his ax."

Johnny says, "Good shot, he got you right in the cunt!"

Los said...

Christina - you shouldn't expect more!

Jeff - I know that Parcels calls his hemerrhoid T.O.

Smokin' - Another classic!!!

Eric said...

It seems kind of wrong, but I keep thinking of a hiker in Yellowstone getting shot a few hundred feet in the air by a volcanic eruption and it makes me laugh every time

lisa said...

i'm still partial to "balloon knot"

Jeff said...

I don't care about Parcells. Just had to find a way to use the phrase "Tuna Boat" while at work.

Steph said...

You crack me up. I hate doco's like that. Make you too paranoid to leave your own home!
Maybe that's just me.

Fairmaiden327 said...

Los: Wishing you an awesome weekend. I'm around if you want to chat back and forth.

Los said...

Steph - Even though i hate them, I keep watching them ... ugh!!!!

Fair Maiden - had trouble getting logged onto Blogger today.

Fairmaiden327 said...

Los: I had problems from 8.30 - 11a. It's up now.

Los said...

That's what she said.

Fairmaiden327 said...

I see

:::rolling eyes:::

Los, I am a tool. I wiped out on my blog, lost everything. Gotta start over. Ugh, I hope someone tries to read my paper on the way home.

Los said...

You're not a tool, fair maiden - hang in there, buckaroo.

Anonymous said...

~Looksup volcano info~
Hey, I thought that Mt Rainer is the largest in the Northern...Active and the chance of taking out the entire West side of Washington State....

~shakes head~

Alternate names for "little Johnny"
~The soldier
~Captain, Sargent, Col...
~The brains
~Ole One eye

Los said...

Superstar - Hey-yo!!!!!