Not Such a Hot Idea ...

After learning how stupid I can be by reading the previous post, you are all probably wondering what other stupid things I’ve done in my life. Thankfully, for you, there are many, many stories I can share with you, and perhaps I’ll continue to share them from time to time (if you’re good). This particular story that I’m about to share should give you a better understanding about my “stupid boundaries,” and whether or not they exist.

Two years ago, my brother had an Independence Day barbecue/party at his house. As luck would have it, he had an ample supply of beer and Jagermeister handy, and I, being a proper guest, indulged in both of these. So, by the time the sun went down, and fireworks were being shot off, I was inebriated enough to partake in the festivities. Fortunately, my brother only had sparklers available, so that major travesties could be avoided.

Unfortunately, my brother, probably against better judgment, handed me a lit sparkler. Now, I’m not sure if it was because of “liquid courage,” or just plain alcoholic stupidity, I came to a most regrettable decision in which I was going to attempt to put out the sparkler with my fingers. Again, I’m not sure how I came up with this brilliant idea … in fact, I’m not even sure if I was thinking at all by this point.

To make sure that no harm would be done, I licked said fingers. This should more than protect me against the molten sparkler, I surmised. Predictably, I burnt a hole in my thumb, but the alcohol had done a nice job of numbing the pain (and intelligence). Apparently, the inebriation prevented me from reasoning with myself – when sober, I know that molten metal can approach temperatures of 2500 degrees, but when intoxicated, I believe that mucous can protect skin from these high temperatures.

My big hope anytime I do something this moronic is that I have taught people valuable life-lessons, and I truly hope this has helped you out as well. No need to thank me.