Schue and I went to Rehoboth with my brother and his wife this past weekend - our bedroom had no tv, which of course meant I had to once again tell Schue funny stories until she fell asleep (Schue loves to have the TV on when she's trying to sleep). Initially, I was stumped - I didn't really have any inspiration, at least not from my own past stories.

However, since I was a big wrestling fan (and still tend to watch it to this day a little), I figured I could give her some funny stories about really bad wrestling gimmicks from the past. Here are just a few that had Schue giggling:


The Gobbledy Gooker - This was the brain-child of Vince McMahon, owner of the WWE. Since it was getting close to Thanksgiving, why not introduce a wrestler in a turkey costume. For some reason, this gimmick failed - the fans thought this was a "bird-brained" idea.




Bastion Booger - This was another ingenious Vince McMahon idea. This wrestler was originally "Friar Fergusan" a wrestling monk - however, the fans quickly poo-pooed this idea. Then, the wrestler was repackaged as a guy who never washed, had soiled wrestling gear, and used his armpits and butt to try and win matches ... Oh yeah, his entrance song was a toilet flushing ... seriously.




The Red Rooster - Poor Terry Taylor. He was a pretty accomplished wrestler in other organizations before he came to the WWE. McMahon felt he could best promote this talent by asking him to strut like a chicken in the ring, and die a red stripe down the center of his hair. Somehow, this didn't catch on.




Duke "The Dumpster" Drose - McMahon felt he needed to have a garbage-man gimmick, and he found someone willing to through his pride and ego out the window. This guy would come to the ring with trash-man gloves and a trash can, and his entrance theme was just a beeping sound that big trucks make when they go in reverse. A can't miss idea that missed.




In the mid-to-late 1980's, the NWA had a jobber tag-team called the Mulkey's. They consisted of two pasty white guys who looked to be twins, weighing in at about 150 pounds a piece. These two wrestlers basically were rag-dolls for the top tag team talent in the organization, and routinely got the living crap beat out of them. They never, ever won ... except one time on national television, they "accidentally" won the match when one of the opponents tripped over a Mulkey whilst trying to slam the other Mulkey. The announcer was so excited, he kept yelling "Mulkey-mania is running wild!" as kind of a play on the Hulk Hogan catch phrase.




Yep, I'm a loser.