Wednesday, August 12, 2009

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

A coworker and I were talking the other day about athletes with funny names - names that could be taken out of context to mean something dirty. I'm not sure why this came up - maybe we started talking about this because, when I was an intern with the Philadelphia Eagles in 1996, a sports guy from WYSP would call in all the time ... his name ... Dick Bagg. Swear to God. He never changed his name to Richard or anything like that.

Anyway, that's probably how we got to talking about athletes with funny names. Here are some names we came up with:

* Randy Johnson ... A fantastic Major League pitcher ... or a porn star?
* Dick Trickle ... An unsuccessful NASCAR driver ... or a prostate problem?
* Rusty Kuntz ... A pretty good baseball player ... or a red-head?
* Dick Pole ... A former pitcher for the Red Sox ... or a female sex aid?
* Pete LaCock ... A Kansas City Royals alum ... or a French Adult Actor?
* Ron Tugnutt ... A pretty good NHL goalie ... a guy with an itchy lower body extremity?
* Dick Butkus ... NFL football legend ... or An "alternative" porn star?
* Albert Pujols ... Best current player in baseball ... or porn star who likes the "other" place.
* Harry Colon ... a former cornerback of the Detroit Lions ... or a guy who doesn't freeze sitting on a cold toilet seat.

Well, I'm sure there are more ... but, I thought this was kind of fun!


Mrs R said...

Hey no need to make fun of Albert.

How about Fukudome from the Cubs? Don't remember his first name at the moment. I get a kick out of that one.

Superstar said...

When I read your title...I thought "LOS? Talking about Christmas? NO!" *giggles*

I am lookin' forward to some football!

Jeff said...

Fukudome was on the Japanese team at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics. His name was misspelled "FUKNDOME" on the scoreboard ... we in the stands chanted "F-n-do-me" a lot that game.

A few others:
- Chien-Ming Wang
- Antonio Bastardo
- R.A. Dickey
- Isn't there an NFL player named "Craphonso"?
- Isn't there a college basketball player named "Jihad Muhammad"?

-B- said...

That is hilarious!! Laughing a bit loud in the office here....