Pitchers and Catchers .... PITCHERS AND CATCHERS!!!
1. On a live-in nanny having a disturbing fetish for soiled diapers being sentenced to 16 months in jail:
"Speaking from recent diaper-changing experience, this is absolutely ridiculous ... there should be a law that anyone with a baby diaper fetish should either be sentenced to death, or sent to Dallas."
2. On a woman filing a lawsuit Friday claiming that she bit into and chewed a piece of glass inside her spicy McChicken sandwich:
"I guess they ran out of other spices?"
3. On Disney beginning to send sales reps into 580 hospitals nationwide - The reps are offering new moms, within hours of giving birth, a free Disney Cuddly Bodysuit for their babies if they sign up for e-mail alerts from DisneyBaby.com:
"Didn't Marlboro try this a few years ago?"
4. On police questioning a woman who allegedly injected another woman in the buttocks with silicon (the woman later died):
"Umm ... if anything, they should be giving this woman a gold star for eliminating another knucklehead from this world .... really, silicon butt injections administered by someone with no medical background? Really?"
5. On a study that reports beer lovers are more likely to have sex on the first date:
"Beer .... it's not just for breakfast anymore!"