Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Wacky News Stories

60 degrees in Philly over the weekend?!?!? Made my bermuda shorts happy!

1. On a man making a frantic 911 call after a llama tried to attack him and head-butted his car:
"Would've loved to have heard the police responder's reaction on this one ... 'and, exactly how many shots of tequila did you have, sir?'"

2. On a family in Allentown, PA being lucky to escape with their lives after a natural gas explosion destroyed their block and took five of their neighbor's souls - then their cable company RCN told them they would have to pay $170 a pop for the cable boxes that were destroyed in the fire:
"Cable's slogan should be this - In addition to incredibly poor customer service, we have no morals either."

3. On horse semen being on the menu at a New Zealand food festival:
"I guess, if you go to this, you probably aren't 'horsin' around ... a thank you!"

4. On a study that reports it makes no difference if you stretch or not before a run, because stretching won't affect your risk of injury:
"Run? What's that?"

5. On a police officer who suggested women can avoid sexual assault by not dressing like “sluts,” apologizing:
"I'm sorry to the whores I offended ..."


sirgeb said...

I am not at all surprised at the RCN story. I had the misfortune of calling them up a lot when I was with them. Glad I don't have to deal with them anymore.

Los said...

We still have RCN ... cheaper alternative to Comcast ... but, I'm sure if/when we move, we'll field offers from Comcast, Verizon and RC (if available) ...

Jeff said...

1. Llame.

2. Does your car feel incomplete without a Comcast ass dent?

3. Beats horse meat. (Ha!)

4. Apparently no need to stretch before the next big beer run.

5. Cop can avoid being called an ass by keeping his mouth shut.