I knew there was a reason not to like Tiger! Egotistical maniac.
1. On a Mayor being asked to resign because he raised his voice to town employees.
"I'm sure this has nothing to do with bloated unions ..."
2. On a train steward refusing to sell a passenger an egg sandwich . . . because he might choke on it.
"What's next, not serving water because someone might drown?"
3. On prison guards unwittingly allowing a convicted drug dealer to grow cannabis in his cell, because he claimed it was a tomato plant ... and even allowing him decorate one 4ft plant as a Christmas tree.
"Schultz from Hogan's Heroes thinks these guards are dumb."
4. On a man having a heart attack in hospital parking lot, and the hospital refusing to help unless his son calls 911 and pays for the ambulance trip.
"Sounds like this hospital is being run by John Street's brother."
5. On a University banning Nerf guns because they might be confused as real guns.
"Did they hire those prison guards from story #3?"