Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Wacky News Stories

Let the shopping begin!

1. On a couple in line a week early for Black Friday at Best Buy:
"I'd like to call them losers ... but then I'd be offending all of the actual losers."

2. On paleontologists uncovering 2.5 million year old tobacco plant:
"Thus proving that Marlboro is indeed the oldest company in the world ..."

3. On a woman who bought a cell phone for her grandson and was shocked to find it pre-loaded with pornographic pictures when she turned it on:
"Beats the hell out of the knitted socks she normally gave her grandson."

4. On a student at Jefferson Middle School who is accused of offering to pay $100 to have someone kill his school bus driver, getting suspended for 6 days:
"This should be a wake-up call to all school-bus drivers everywhere!"

5. On the US Embassy in Beijing claiming the air quality is 'crazy bad:'
"They also claimed the communisim is crazy stupid, and that beer is wicked hard core!"


Jeff said...

1. What else did Wade Phillips and Brad Childress have to do this week?

2. The Far Side was right: smoking DID kill the dinosaurs.

3. The phone that turns YOU on.

4. Nice incentive: threaten the bus driver, get a week off.

5. Funny, I thought Beijing tank drivers were "crazy bad."

Heff said...

I can vouch for that Marlboro story.

I've been smokin' that shit since the stone age !

Susan said...

Your #3 was shocking, and Jeff's comment to your #3 cracked me up.

Blogger said...

Are you paying more than $5 / pack of cigarettes? I buy my cigarettes from Duty Free Depot and this saves me over 60%.