Done my Christmas shopping!!! Let the fun begin!
1. On officers arresting 19-year-old Laura Miranda Landry for possession of marijuana after they found 49.5 grams of pot under the front seat of her car and in her bra.
"Reminds me of the Naked Gun movie line, 'Is this some kind of bust? Yes, it's very impressive!'"
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/prince-edward-island/story/2009/12/11/pei-drug-bust-bra-584.html
2. On taxpayers paying to fix the penile erection problems of a jailed rapist:
"I can't believe we're paying taxes for such a dick! .... get it?"
http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/the-monster-and-his-medical-problem-jailed-rapist-wants-erection-problem-help/story-e6freuy9-1225809559358
3. On a report that links AIDS to Ancient Tigers.
"Does this means Woods is in more trouble?"
http://www.myfoxla.com/dpp/news/dpgo-Report-AIDS-Linked-to-Ancient-Tigers-mb-200912081260289397368
4. On a man who beat his wife for not helping to shovel the snow.
"All I can say about this is ... Snow Kidding! I'll be here all week!"
http://www.kfab.com/cc-common/news/sections/newsarticle.html?feed=122285&article=6442870
5. On random drugs tests being introduced to the World Pie Eating Championships:
"Wait a minute, I've never seen anyone eat a Lemon Marangue pie so quickly ... he must be taking roids!"
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4 comments:
Nate Newton stuffed a lot more pot in his bra.
So, having the munchies is not allowed in pie eating contest? Hmmm
'On officers arresting 19-year-old Laura Miranda Landry for possession of marijuana after they found 49.5 grams of pot under the front seat of her car and in her bra'
ahhhh....but how much was in her bra?
Big tits no case?....;-)
'On taxpayers paying to fix the penile erection problems of a jailed rapist'
No No No No No Fucking No. We so desperately need revolution!
'On a report that links AIDS to Ancient Tigers.
"Does this means Woods is in more trouble?"
Either that or a monkey shagged a tiger. That was one brave monkey!!!
'On a man who beat his wife for not helping to shovel the snow.
"All I can say about this is ... Snow Kidding! I'll be here all week!"
Helping???? Helping???? Like he shouldn't be warm and cozy in his bed while she shovels it??? Amrerica is very weird...;-)
'On random drugs tests being introduced to the World Pie Eating Championships:
"Wait a minute, I've never seen anyone eat a Lemon Marangue pie so quickly ... he must be taking roids!'
No No No No. I'm sorry. I originate from the North of England. Oldham, Lancashire to be exact. We eat pies like no other life force in the universe. Put me up against anyone outside of Lancashire and they wouldn't know what hit 'em.
Nuff said.
So there.
These crack me up every time you do them!
I am so jealous that you have all your shopping done. Very happy for you too, of course. I would be done if I could actually find the stuff I am looking for...
--snow
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