I know some people wish that every day was Friday, but wouldn't that mean that every day would be a work day?
1. On an ice-cream parlor that has more than 860 flavors of ice cream.
"Yes, I'll have the Herring and Strawberry swirl please."
2. On Denver Public School officials are apologizing after a parent complained that a school lunch meant to honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was stereotypical and offensive, reported KMGH-TV - The lunch was to include southern-style chicken, collard greens and a biscuit in honor of King.
"Looks like they may have to cancel the afternoon KKK parade."
3. On an 11-year-old boy who is being praised by Lawton police after he called 911 to report his mom and her boyfriend were dealing drugs from their home.
"Looks like this kid's going to get grounded!"
4. On an Ohio police officer talking a boy into going to school.
"Maybe the cop should talk the parents into parenting."
5. On a story about the death of book-stores.
"Great, next thing you'll tell me is that 8-tracks are dead!"