Two weeks of overblown Superbowl hype ... it's FAN-tastic.
1. On a women who had a blood-alcohol level of .708 pleading guilty on two drunken driving charges after she was found passed out behind the wheel of a stolen delivery van along an Interstate highway.
"Hic .... I thought that delivery van ... hic ... was my Prius."
2. On Australia's first video-game nightclub openng in Brisbane next month.
"Hey there beautiful... Can I interest you in a game of Elevator Action or Tempest?"
3. On Bristol Palin demanding that her "baby dady" pay $1700 a month child support.
"OK, show of hands. Who is tired of the Palin family?"
4. On FOX News not airing the Haiti benefit.
"I'm sure there was an important Sarah Palin story they needed to cover."
5. On NBC finally letting Conan O'Brien go in favor of Jay Leno.
"Well, nobody can acuse NBC of being short-sight..... oh wait, nevermind."