Fast Food Corner

Growing up, McDonalds definitely hit a chord with us kids. I mean, think about it - they created "McDonaldland," filled with characters we liked! Below is a list of all the ones I could think of:

Ronald McDonald - Obviously, the President of McDonaldland. He was like the Mick Jagger of McDonaldland - the lead singer, head honcho, numero uno. Sure, he was a clown, but he always seemed witty to the rest of the characters ... the others looked up to him like he was the Fonz ... just without a cool leather jacket.

Mayor McCheese - From what I remember, this guy was a bumbling idiot. Hard to believe he was able to become Mayor of McDonaldland ... unless he was in Ronald's pocket. Of course, we never really saw any candidates running against him for Mayor.

Big Mac - He looked very similar to Mayor McCheese, and often chased after the Hamburgler (more on him in a second). Perhaps this was a prelude to the previous Mayor in Philadelphia - Mayor John Street, whose brother Milton was a bumbling knucklehead who somehow was able to secure an important job at the Philadelphia International Airport (probably why said airport is awful).

The Hamburgler - Yes folks, even McDonaldland has criminals. The Hamburgler always tried to steal burgers from unsuspecting people, but much like the Trix rabbit, was always caught in the end. The Wet Bandits thought this guy was a bad criminal.

Captain Crook was another criminal, and looked quite a bit like Captain Hook. However, he was focused on the Filet O' Fish sandwich ... which makes no sense to me, because I can't think of any kid who'd choose a Filet O' Fish over a hamburger from McDonalds.

The Fry Guys - These annoying little sh*ts whould go around and steal everybody's french fries. They were blue, red, and yellow (I think), and they were short. They would just run around and gobble up fries (coincidentally, their original names were the Goblins). Man, McDonaldland was full of criminals, come to think about it!

Birdie the Early Bird - This bird with a pink jump suit, flight cap and scarf generally promoted McDonalds breakfasts. This is probably also the reason she didn't fly.

Grimace - Grimace is a fat purple monster who is probably about as bumbling as Mayor McCheese. Not really sure what his profession is, but he always seemed to have enough money to purchase a milk shake and yuk it up with Ronald.