I'm surprised they haven't done a reality show about raking leaves yet ... I won't hold my breath.
1. On an alleged burglar sending a newspaper a picture of himself because he didn't like the mug shot it published.
"Have things really gotten this bad for Lindsay Lohan?"
2. On a couple who fled to save their unborn baby from social workers after the girl was told she is not smart enough to look after her child.
"Unfortunately, they got stuck on the escalator."
3. On a newlywed groom on his honeymoon plunging to his death from a Brooklyn hotel in an apparent suicide -- as his bride slept, unaware of the tragedy.
"Ummmm ... I guess nobody told him about annulments?"
4. On a former Mayor being suspended after he got drunk at an official ball and made lewd sexual comments to two female colleagues.
"Can a seat at the United Nations be far behind?"
5. On a man reportedly calling 911 to say that his marijuana was missing, and apparently making the dispatcher hold while he stops his car a few times to vomit (drunk).
"Apparently, David Hasselhoff fell off the wagon again ..."