Friday, November 06, 2009

Wacky News Stories

Well, I'm glad that the lawn-mowing season is over ... but, sadly, it's been replaced by the raking leaves season (which will shortly be replaced by the snow shoveling season).

1. On a teacher being suspended for allegedly trying to force a student to eat pizza. "Wait, Papa John is a teacher?"
http://www.cfnews13.com/News/Local/2009/10/31/worker_charged_with_forcing_student_to_eat_pizza.html

2. On an employee of an Italian businessman allegedly forging what was supposed to be the boss's will on the back of dog collar.
"That guy is just dog-gone ridiculous! I find this crime a'paw'ling!"
http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2009/10/30/Court-tosses-will-written-on-dog-collar/UPI-34971256938998/

3. On a group of students who used a cannon to shoot a pumpkin, which accidentally went through the Stadium scoreboard:
"Um .... The Great Pumpkin did it!"
http://www.ocregister.com/articles/pumpkin-students-engineering-2631958-center-science

4. On police arresting for vandalizing 14 school buses overnight, causing the district to cancel school for the day - police linked one of the men to the vandalism after finding his cell phone on the bus lot:
"What did these criminals call themselves, the Wet Bandits?"
http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20091031/NEWS/910310326/1001/NEWS

5. On security guards armed with torches and chicken wire keeping a 24-hour watch to stop hedgehogs hiding in a bonfire:
"Wasn't this the premise of a Bugs Bunny cartoon?"
http://www.lep.co.uk/weirdnews/Security-guards-to-protect-hedgehogs.5783868.jp

2 comments:

Four Dinners said...

1. On a teacher being suspended for allegedly trying to force a student to eat pizza. "Wait, Papa John is a teacher?"
...or a Marine?....Hut! hut! hut!...soz...I'll get me coat...

2. On an employee of an Italian businessman allegedly forging what was supposed to be the boss's will on the back of dog collar.
"That guy is just dog-gone ridiculous! I find this crime a'paw'ling!"

Ah! But if it was a priests dog collar then it would have been approved by God!

3. On a group of students who used a cannon to shoot a pumpkin, which accidentally went through the Stadium scoreboard:
"Um .... The Great Pumpkin did it!"

Could be useful idea the next time England play Brazil.....

4. On police arresting for vandalizing 14 school buses overnight, causing the district to cancel school for the day - police linked one of the men to the vandalism after finding his cell phone on the bus lot:
"What did these criminals call themselves, the Wet Bandits?"

Uh?...when it rained?

5. On security guards armed with torches and chicken wire keeping a 24-hour watch to stop hedgehogs hiding in a bonfire:
"Wasn't this the premise of a Bugs Bunny cartoon?"

hahahahahha!!! Actually I'd give em a medal. Hedgehogs are cool!

Jeff said...

Carl Spackler finally moved on from groundhogs.