Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Wacky News Stories

I saw some Robins ... which means that Spring is right around the corner ... right?

1. On a woman who sues a doctor because he gave her an extra set of breasts.
"I guess somebody needs to be held 'a-cow-ntable' ... wait, that was an 'utterly' terrible joke!"

2. On a man who is suing an airline for not looking at his scrotum:
"Either this guy has a lot of "balls" or he's just plain "nuts!"

3. On an undercover cop who spent nearly $17,000 on more than 130 lap dances, and didn't make a single arrest:
"Looks like this cop is going to be introduced to a different form of a 'pole dance.'"

4. On an AIG employee saying the following on the possibility of losing his blood money: "To be honest with you, I really hope it blows up. I think the U.S. taxpayer deserves to lose a trillion dollars over this thing for the way they have behaved:"
"Maybe we can relocate these people ... to Afghanistan."

5. Man banned from all Wal-Marts for life because he refused to show his receipt to a door greeter:
"Really? What kind of stand was this knucklehead trying to make by not showing his receipt? Was he buying tampons or something?"


Realliveman said...

I'm loving these posts!

Wacky is as wacky does!

Heff said...

Banned from Wal-Mart ? One could be so lucky.

Four Dinners said...

By the time I'd worked my way through an extra set of tits and bleeding balls I had to retire for more is entirely your fault I am drinking too much...;-)

I will now reconvene....

Four Dinners said...

3. I've always fancied being an undercover cop. Even more now!!!

4. 'Earth callng?'...Hello? Anyone in? The lights are on...

5. I have no idea what a 'door greeter is. I don't think I really want to know. I was once banned from Sainsburys. I won't say here I think I'll post it...

sirgeb said...

You can 'milk' gags out of your first story until the cows come home.

Jeff said...

1. Did her husband leave a good tip?

2. Probably got "sacked" from his last job.

3. He should be arrested -- for paying over $125 per lap dance.

4. Rules and taxes are for the little people.

5. Of all the things to get banned for ... what a douche.

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