I saw some Robins ... which means that Spring is right around the corner ... right?
1. On a woman who sues a doctor because he gave her an extra set of breasts.
"I guess somebody needs to be held 'a-cow-ntable' ... wait, that was an 'utterly' terrible joke!"
2. On a man who is suing an airline for not looking at his scrotum:
"Either this guy has a lot of "balls" or he's just plain "nuts!"
3. On an undercover cop who spent nearly $17,000 on more than 130 lap dances, and didn't make a single arrest:
"Looks like this cop is going to be introduced to a different form of a 'pole dance.'"
4. On an AIG employee saying the following on the possibility of losing his blood money: "To be honest with you, I really hope it blows up. I think the U.S. taxpayer deserves to lose a trillion dollars over this thing for the way they have behaved:"
"Maybe we can relocate these people ... to Afghanistan."
5. Man banned from all Wal-Marts for life because he refused to show his receipt to a door greeter:
"Really? What kind of stand was this knucklehead trying to make by not showing his receipt? Was he buying tampons or something?"