The countdown is on ... Is your Christmas ... er, holiday shopping finished?
1. On a woman kneeing her pregnant sister in the stomach during a fight over a shirt:
"I hope, at the very least, the shirt in question was a 'Who Farted?' shirt ..."
2. On Polish taxpayers' money being spent on invisible art (a blank canvas):
"This is probably the opening of many polish jokes ..."
3. On a televangelist who admitted to cheating on his wife:
"Really? A televangelist doing seedy things? Really?
4. On live mice being found in the noodles of a Chinese restaurant:
"Good thing they didn't check the 'General Tso's Kitten.'"
5. On the rise in popularity of Amish Romance Novels:
"What's the next fad, vampire love story novels ... what? That already happened?"