Wacky News Stories

It's like mother nature has a bad case of dandruff in Philly right now!

1. On a circus to feature a banned smoking act and a dwarf pulling hoover vacuum cleaner with his penis:
"Eat your heart out, Cirque-de Solei!"
http://www.thisislincolnshire.co.uk/news/Banned-act-gets-clear/article-3077597-detail/article.html

2. On a girl miraculously alive in Argentina after her mother lowered her onto the tracks just as a train was coming into the station:
"We'll take it from here, Mrs. Hitler ..."
http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/TopStories/20110107/woman-lowers-daughter-onto-train-tracks-110107/

3. On a 36-year-old Lake Forest woman being arrested Friday on suspicion of having sex with a 13-year-old boy:
"Ya know, this stuff NEVER happened when I was 13 ... sadly." Or ... "Hey, sounds like they're trying to remake Big!"
http://www.ocregister.com/news/amormino-283281-hicks-boy.html

4. On a Virginia delegate who wants to bring back Confederate money:
"Texas thinks this is absurd ..."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/07/virginia-delegate-wants-t_n_806089.html

5. On the YWCA dropping the word Christian from its historic name to call itself Platform 51:
"Sounds out of this world ... get it? Because Area 51 has stuff to do with aliens? Ok, I was reaching ... gimmee a break - I have a newborn, dammit!"
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1344779/YWCA-drops-word-Christian-historic-Platform-51.html