Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Wacky News Stories

More and more snow in Philly ... snowmen think it's cold!

1. On A 15-year-old boy suing a local golf course for $3 million after he was hit in the eye by his own golf ball:
"The lady who sued McDonalds because the coffee was hot thinks this is a stupid lawsuit."

2. On Italian scientists claiming to have demonstrated cold fusion:
"Didn't Mountain Dew already demonstrate this?"

3. On researchers studying monkeys when they're drunk and comparing them to drunk humans:
"This would've been a great science project in middle school!"

4. On a teacher being arrested for allowing his second graders to have sex in the classroom:
"Times tables are overrated!"

5. On Keith Olbermann signing off of MSNBC for the last time:
"Hopefully, this was an agreement with him and Rush Limbaugh to both sign off at the same time ..."


Steph said...

Wow those are some good ones. Love the drunk monkey one.

Jeff said...

Did Al Gore give a speech last night?

1. Tiger would've gotten non-monetary compensation.

2. "Intelligent Italians? Wait a minute, something odd is going on here!" -- Homer Simpson

3. Yeah, drunk humans would never do this:

4. Readin', Writin', and Rim Jobs.

5. He peaked when Chris Myers called him "Groucho" on Sportscenter.