Friday, June 11, 2010

Wacky News Stories

Heckuva season, Flyers! Thanks for the memories!

1. On an off-duty Chicago cop who was caught on video downing five shots before getting into his car and killing two people having charges dropped:
"Really, something underhanded going on in Chicago?!?!? Next thing you'll tell me is that water is wet!",thanksgiving-day-crash-charges-dropped-060410.article

2. On seven seniors at a Southern California high school facing disciplinary action for participating in a game called "Beat the Jew" in which losers were subjected to "incineration" or "enslavement:"
"Apparently, the ring leader was named 'Bob' Hitler ..."

3. On a judge extending workers compensation for a Montana man after ruling that while smoking marijuana before feeding grizzly bears is "ill advised" and "mind-bogglingly stupid," it was not a "major factor" in his mauling:
"However, the 85 boxes of Twinkees he was eating may have been a culprit ..."

4. On a gym telling a woman that she's too fat for workout equipment:
"Interesting use of reverse psychology ..."

5. On the FDA to start enforcing standards on what constitutes "virgin" and "extra-virgin" olive oil.
"Sounds like something that should be displayed on Cinemax After Dark ..."


Heff said...

BLACKHAWKS !!! lol !

Jeff said...

1. Headlines from 1929.

2. Helen Thomas' retirement plan in action.

3. The cause was: stupidity.

4. Beefcake!

5. Next: brothels.