Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Wacky News

My back is officially on strike ... NO MORE SNOW!!!!!!!!!

1. On Robert Redford receiving the USC School of Theatre's inaugural Robert Redford Award:
"Hmmph ... and my money was on Nick Nolte!"

2. On Whiskey toothpaste being produced in the 1960's.
"This would certainly have encouraged me to brush 3 times a day ..."

3. On a report that states that beet juice helps melt ice and snow.
"Finally, a use for beet juice!",beet-juice-ice-melt-021110.article

4. On officers beginning testing windows and doors at night as part of a campaign to increase home security - If they find one open, they are under orders to knock on the door and drag sleepy residents from their beds and lecture them.
"Um ... this sounds about as smart as letting Keith Richards run a liquor store."

5. On a mother-of-four who has been offered an unreserved apology after surgeons left a seven-inch set of forceps inside her:
"Sorry about the forceps sir ... I mean, maam."


Four Dinners said...

I have been trying to perfect vodka toothpaste for many years.

Dipping the brush in vodka seems the best way..;-)

El Pad said...


tik tok

"On Whiskey toothpaste being produced in the 1960's."

Jeff said...

1. My money was on David Caruso.

2. Pot toothpaste didn't work very well.

3. Liquid melts snow and ice -- who knew? Great use of taxpayer funds.

4. I'm from the government, and I'm here to help!

5. Must resist urge to make joke about 7-inch tool ...