My back is officially on strike ... NO MORE SNOW!!!!!!!!!
1. On Robert Redford receiving the USC School of Theatre's inaugural Robert Redford Award:
"Hmmph ... and my money was on Nick Nolte!"
2. On Whiskey toothpaste being produced in the 1960's.
"This would certainly have encouraged me to brush 3 times a day ..."
3. On a report that states that beet juice helps melt ice and snow.
"Finally, a use for beet juice!"
4. On officers beginning testing windows and doors at night as part of a campaign to increase home security - If they find one open, they are under orders to knock on the door and drag sleepy residents from their beds and lecture them.
"Um ... this sounds about as smart as letting Keith Richards run a liquor store."
5. On a mother-of-four who has been offered an unreserved apology after surgeons left a seven-inch set of forceps inside her:
"Sorry about the forceps sir ... I mean, maam."